With the mark of a new year, I’m beginning a new series titled Motivation Monday. That hashtag has been trending for some time now, so it’s definitely a popular topic for those seeking motivation, positivity, and inspiration. Look for a new Motivation Monday post each week that inspires you to live your best life. We’re going to discuss the good, the bad, and the ugly. Let’s get it all on the table! That way we can stop looking in the rear view mirror, and focus on the future. Topics will range from self-help to motivational pep talks. Who’s ready?!
Motivation Monday #1 Stop Expecting Loyalty
Expectations can be tricky. We know what we want, but how do we get it? Oftentimes, we seek outsiders to fulfill us…to complete us, but the truth is the answer lies within yourself. It’s like that old saying, “you must first love yourself before you can love another.”
The top #MotivationMonday post on Instagram this week is: “Stop expecting Loyalty from people who can’t even give you Honesty.”
What a powerful, thought-provoking quote! Does it resonate with you? I immediately had a connection to the phrase because I, too, see value in working through this. I’m unsure who the original creator is, but people are drawn to the quote for a reason. So let’s break it down.
Stop expecting Loyalty from people who can’t even give you Honesty.
Loyalty is defined as having a strong allegiance, while honesty is defined as someone with morals, righteousness, and strong ethics. Could a person who does not have expectations of being truthful be loyal to you? Of course not. It’s like asking a robber to hold your wallet while you use the restroom. They won’t be there when you return. Or telling a friend a personal secret, and learning that person spread your secrets to anyone who would listen. It takes effort for people to choose to do the right thing, and some people just have a skewed thought process. That’s not to say people can’t change – they can, and do all the time. However, the best predictor of future behavior is past behavior, as the infamous Dr. Phil often states.
So what can we do? Change our expectation.
If you have a friend, or person you’re dating who often flakes on you, don’t expect them to show up. It’s time to make a decision. Do you want to keep giving them the benefit of the doubt, or do you want to stand up for yourself? There’s only so much a person can take, right? And we teach people how to treat us. If the person in question isn’t showing up in your life, find someone else who sees the value in you.
I completely understand the frustration in walking away after all the effort we put into a relationship, or friendship. For lack of a better word, it sucks to wash our hands of it. Regardless, we all come to a point where we have to let go of the rope. I encourage you to leave no stone un-turned before walking away – if it’s a relationship you truly value. Otherwise, check please!
Pray or meditate on your decision. Start a journal to work through your feelings, especially if it’s something more serious like a marriage. I highly recommend seeking couples counseling before calling it quits. Possibly the two of you just need to find a better way to communicate. We don’t come with instruction books – we have to create our own destiny!
In my line of work, there’s a lot of cliques – like in high school. However, I never let those bother me then, and I’m certainly not going to start caring now that I’m in my 30’s. It’s juvenile and immature, and who has time for that nonsense? Not me. Bye mean girls! So, I’ve always maintained my integrity and just moved on. I’m not going to chase anyone. It hurts when I’ve made an effort to be there for someone, and show my loyalty, only to not see it in return. I have to maintain the thought process: those that truly want to be apart of your life – will, and they’ll be loyal, and trustworthy too.
Only Good Vibes
In closing, today’s Motivation Monday series is about controlling your future – because you’re the only one who can. Take time to reflect on what you expect of others, and what you can do to change that relationship. Is it best to cut it off or work it out? Whatever you choose – be confident in your decision and see it through. You’ve got it girl!
- Reflect on it
- Make a decision
- Stick to it
- Feel better
Share your thoughts below on our first Motivation Monday chat. Let’s discuss it as a community. And, tell me what you need help with – you may just see it in next week’s series!