Do you struggle with mom guilt? You’re not alone. In fact, babycenter.com reports that in a recent survey 94% of moms feel shame over a range of issues. I, too, wrestled with mom guilt, which is why I’m going to share how I took charge of my mom guilt struggles, and how you can too!
Today’s post is sponsored by Duncan Hines and The Motherhood.
Mom Guilt Struggles
Life can be quite demanding, and it’s hard to manage it all, especially when you’re trying to compare yourself to other moms. So let’s discuss the mom guilt struggles, and then work our way to finding a better balance.
Whether you’re a working mom or stay at home mom, you’ll always find a way to make yourself feel guilty for not spending enough time with your kids. I’ve been on both sides of that coin, and the struggle is real people. Taking time out for yourself to visit the salon, go to the gym, or even shower alone can feel like an impossible task. What we need to do is recognize the difference between being selfish in a bad way and being selfish in a healthy way.
So let’s just face the facts – there’s just not enough time in the day, ever. That being said, we have 24 hours to make the most of what we can accomplish. There is nothing abnormal about taking 1 or 2 hours of our day to manage our own interests – it is completely acceptable when you think about it. Managing your time via a calendar, or even phone alarm reminders can be a great way to balance life’s demands. So dig in to your daily life tasks and work out a schedule you can feel good about. And if you get off track, so what, just pick up where you left off and keep looking forward. Be happy with what you do accomplish, instead of focusing on the negative.
Speaking of negativity, if you’re a new mom – one of your greatest resources can be online mom groups, but they can also be your biggest stressor too. Finding the right group can take a bit of work. If you notice a majority of judgemental people or topics, avoid it like the plague. You don’t want to draw in that negativity or find yourself in the midst of a mommy wars discussion. It’s not worth it, and honestly it can be a big time suck. So be sure to surround yourself and your little one with supportive people, and you will be a much happier mom for that.
Putting Yourself First Without Feeling Guilty
Now that we’ve worked through the mom guilt and have a plan to create a better balance, let’s discuss a few ways we can put ourselves first. Have you heard the saying, “Remember to take care of yourself. You can’t pour from an empty cup.” Think about that for a moment. Doesn’t that make total sense? If you’re not giving to yourself, refueling yourself, helping yourself – how can you help others? You certainly can’t be the best mom, wife, friend, or daughter if you’re constantly running on empty.
Ways to put yourself first:
- Take 15-20 minutes a day to decompress. Whether you choose to read a book, write in a journal, or do yoga, find a way to carve out a small amount of quiet time. It will do your body – and mind – a whole lot of good.
- Exercise. Yes, it really is important. It can boost your mood, help you sleep better, and you’ll feel more confident about how you look. I’ve written plenty of posts dedicated to the benefits of working out.
- Delegate. Believe it or not, delegating items from your to do list for your children or spouse to help out with is helping you. Asking for help is okay. We’re not superwoman.
- Take in small indulgences. Have that piece of chocolate, or cookie, or try one of these amazingly delicious single-serving portions by Duncan Hines. Perfect Size for 1 is a quick and easy dessert – made in an 8-oz. coffee mug in about a minute. Now that’s a serious time saver!
By the way, Perfect Size for 1 is available in 18 varieties with flavors for morning, afternoon or evening indulgences. Some of my favorite flavors are Apple Cinnamon Muffin, Strawberry Shortcake, Lemon Cake and any of the chocolate varieties. I topped this Decadent Chocolate Lover’s Cake with a dollop of mint chocolate chip ice cream for some extra flavor. Other ways you can customize your “cup” cake is by mixing in coffee, or topping another Perfect Size for 1 flavor with nuts, fresh fruit or whipped cream. On their own, or with a topping, these warm treats are amazingly delicious! You guys will love them.
Jessica W. says
I think all moms have different types of struggles each day, but sometimes I do need some alone time other than after bedtime. I’ll ask my spouse for help with that when I need it.
I totally agree Jessica! Yes, it’s absolutely necessary to have your own downtime, and asking for help is okay.
Denise Hoyle says
As a single working mom with five young kiddos guilt is a daily companion – thanks so much for this!!
Hugs Denise! I hope you’re inspired to give yourself a break, it’s well deserved!
This was something I really needed to read today.
Carissa Pelletier says
I know it’s important but I always end up forgetting to pay attention to my own needs. But I know I’d enjoy the chocolate cake (even though I may overdo it!).
I think every mom struggles with this. It’s impossible to do all, be all. I can be hard to stay positive but I agree — surround yourself with those that help, not hurt. Positivity goes a long way. And yes! Enjoy that treat! I’ll be looking for these at the store — they sound wonderful and I love the portion control!
That looks delicious. Thanks for this post. Nobody should feel bad when it’s time to reat yo self!
This is definitely something ALL mothers struggle with and we really shouldn’t,
thank you for sharing!